Bullying is being mean to another kid over and over again. Bullying often includes:
- Talking about hurting someone
- Spreading rumors
- Leaving kids out on purpose
- Attacking someone by hitting them or yelling at them
Bullying does not always happen in person. Cyberbullying is a type of bullying that happens online or through text messages or emails. It includes posting rumors on sites like Facebook, sharing embarrassing pictures or videos, and making fake profiles or websites.
Kids Who are Bullied
Kids who are bullied can feel like they are:
Kids who are bullied have a hard time standing up for themselves. They think the kid who bullies them is more powerful than they are. Bullying can make them:
- Sad, lonely, or nervous
- Feel sick
- Have problems at school
- Bully other kids
Kids Who Bully Others
Kids bully others for many reasons, they may:
- Want to copy their friends
- Think bullying will help them fit in
- Think they are better than the kid they are bullying
Bullying is never ok. Those who bully use power to hurt people. Power does not always mean bigger or stronger. Power can also mean popular or smart. Or, the kid doing the bullying may know a secret about the kid being bullied.
Kids who bully can have other problems, too, even when they get older, like using alcohol and drugs, getting into fights, and dropping out of school.
Kids Who See Bullying
When kids see bullying, they may not know what to do. They may feel depressed or worried. They may be absent from school because they don’t feel safe. They may join in or stay silent so they won’t get bullied themselves. They may stand up to the bully. But the best thing to do
is get an adult who will stop the bullying on the spot.
Myths & Truths The Victim Myth: Domestic violence only happens to poor, uneducated women and women of different race or color. Truth: Persons of any class, culture, religion, sexual orientation, marital status, age, and sex can be victims or perpetrators of domestic violence. Because women with money usually have more access to resources, poorer women tend to utilize community agencies, and are therefore more visible.
Myth: Some people deserve to be abused; they are responsible for the violence because they know how to provoke it. Truth: No one deserves to be abused. The only person responsible for the abuse is the abuser. Physical violence, even among family members, is wrong and against the law.
Myth: If the victim didn’t like it, she would leave. Truth: There are many reasons why women may not leave, including fear for herself, her children and even pets. Not leaving does not mean that the situation is okay or that the victim wants to be abused. The most dangerous time for a woman who is being abused is when she tries to leave.
Myth: Men cannot be abused. Truth: Men can be, and are, abused. Up to 13% of all reported domestic assaults occur to men.
The Offender Myth: Most people who commit violence are under the effects of alcohol or drugs. Truth: Although many abusive partners also abuse alcohol and/or drugs, this is not the underlying cause of the battering. Many batterers use alcohol/drugs as an excuse to explain their violence.
Myth: Stress and anger lead to violence. Truth: Violent behavior is a choice. Perpetrators use it to control their victims. Domestic violence is about batterers using their control, not losing their control. Their actions are very deliberate.
Myth: Batterers are violent in all their relationships. Truth: Batterers choose to be violent to their partner and hurt them in ways they would never hurt someone else. Their violence is about control of the person.
The Violence Myth: Violence is about anger and rage. The abuser is out of control. Truth: There are many reasons it is obvious that an abuser is in control of his actions. He does not batter other individuals. He waits until there are no witnesses and abuses the person he says he loves. The abuser very often escalates from pushing and shoving to hitting in places where the bruises and marks will not show. If he were "out of control" or "in a rage" he would not be able to direct or limit where his kicks or punches land.
Myth: Domestic violence is a personal problem between a husband and a wife. Truth: Domestic violence affects everyone.
Myth: Domestic Violence occurs in only a small percentage of relationships. Truth: Domestic Violence occurs in up to 1/3 of all relationships, including same sex relationships. One in three women will report violence from a spouse or partner in their lifetime.
Myth: Domestic Violence is usually a one time, isolated occurrence due to anger or stress. Truth: Battering is a pattern of control that includes the repeated use of a number of tactics including threats, intimidation, isolation, economic and financial control, psychological and sexual abuse. Physical violence is only one of the tactics used to control another person.
Information courtesy of SafePlace.org
Red Flags Do you…
- Feel afraid of your partner most of the time?
- Feel that you can’t do anything right?
- Get embarrassed by your partner’s behavior toward you?
- Believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
- Avoid topics or situations out of fear of angering your partner?
Does your partner…
- Humiliate, criticize or yell at you?
- Blame you for his behavior?
- Threaten to hurt you?
- Threaten to take your kids away?
- Threaten to harm your kids or pets?
- Force you to have sex?
- Act jealous and possessive?
- Keep you from seeing friends and family?
- Limit your access to money or necessities?
- Keep you from getting a job or going to school?
- Constantly check up on you?
- Threaten to kill himself or hurt himself if you leave?
Does your friend or loved one…
- Have frequent injuries resulting from “accidents”?
- Frequently and suddenly miss work, school or cancel plans?
- Receive frequent calls from a partner?
- Fear their partner, or refer to a partner’s rages or behavior?
- Lack assertiveness or have submissive behavior?
- Isolate from friends and families?
- Have insufficient resources to live (money, credit cards, car)?
Red Flags of Teen Dating Violence For friends…
- Their boyfriend/girlfriend calls them names or puts them down in front of others.
- Their boyfriend/girlfriend acts extremely jealous when they talk to friends of the opposite sex, even when it is completely innocent.
- Your friend often cancels plans at the last minute, for reasons that sound untrue.
- Your friend frequently apologizes for their boyfriend/girlfriend.
- Your friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend is constantly checking up on them, calling or texting and demanding to know where they have been.
- You’ve seen the boyfriend/girlfriend lose their temper, maybe even get violent when they’re mad.
- Your friend is always worried about upsetting their boyfriend/girlfriend.
- Your friend is giving up things that used to be important to them, such as spending time with friends or other activities, and is becoming more and more isolated.
- Your friend’s weight, appearance or grades have changed dramatically.
- Your friend has injuries they can’t explain, or the explanations they give don’t add up.
For parents… Does your child?
- Make changes in their daily rituals?
- Retreat from school or activities?
- Experience isolation from friends?
- Weight, appearance and grades have changed dramatically?
- Make changes in clothing?
- Wear clothing inappropriate for the weather in order to hide marks?
- Have visible marks or bruises?
- Spend excessive amounts of time with the person they’re dating?
- Spend excessive amounts of time in contact with the person they are dating through cell phones and computers?
GREENVILLE, SC (FOX Carolina) - Community activists hit gang activity and bullying head-on Thursday night.
Greenville County Intervention Specialist Dexter Reaves and Think Twice Founder Traci Fant held a gang summit with parents and students hoping to keep kids on the right track. They said they hope these take the path to be successful and fall to peer pressure.
"We are just trying to get the message that gangs are not the good way to go," said Fant.
"The main thing is to encourage the kids to stay away from negative gang violence and any negativity. We want them to be more positive in their communities," said Reaves.
Former Clemson quarterback Woody Dantzler also stressed the importance of love in the household. He says that's what's leading most young people to the streets.
If you would like a seminar similar to this, call Reaves at the Greenville County School System.
GREER, SC (FOX Carolina) - An Upstate group is hoping to put a stop to domestic violence one family at a time.
Think Twice held a special "sun-dresses and khakis" affair, at the Abash in Greer, in connection with Safe Harbor, a group that provides housing for battered women.
Participants enjoyed a food and music, but the real reason everyone showed up, is a heavier topic.
Some at the event have been affected by domestic violence; others were showing support for battered women.
A special guest speaker, Shaundra Adams, is the mother of Cherica Adams, who was murdered by former NFL star, Rae Carruth, a man whom with she was in a relationship.
Cherica was pregnant at the time, and her unborn son survived. Now 11 years old, he is mentally handicapped.
Cherica's mother says domestic violence starts with a mindset, and she says it can be stopped.
"[Victims] stay and continue to take the abuse and then they internalize it and think that there is something wrong with them and it starts a vicious cycle that can run deep," said Adams. "It goes generation to generation, so having a place that you can go and have someone you can talk to about the abuse is of utmost importance."
The director of Think Twice, Traci Fant, who has dealt with this issue of domestic violence herself, now she strives to make sure other women don't go through what she went through.
"I was in an abusive relationship before and recently lost a friend to domestic violence," said Fant. "So after losing her I saw the real need of us to raise awareness and do things to help the organizations that are here to help all women in the Upstate."
Money was raised for Safe Harbor and Think Twice, through ticket sales and donations. It will go to help women dealing with domestic violence.
Resources to keep your kids safe= www.kidpower.org
Help in a bullying situation= www.bullyhelp.org
If someone you know is being bullied or is bullying others= www.stopbullying.gov
Cyber bullying info= www.cyberbullyhelp.com
Someone you know is being bullied or is bullying others www.stopbullyingnow.com
Bully policies and report by state= www.bullypolice.org
SC Coalition Against Violence & Sexual Assault= www.sccadvasa.org
List of shelters= www.silcom.com
Safe Harbor= www.safeharbor.org
Sexting is the act of sending, receiving or forwarding nude or semi naked photos via a text message on a mobile phone. Many young people are not aware that sexting is illegal and the police may become involved.
If the images are of people under the age of eighteen, those sending, receiving or forwarding the images are technically in violation of child pornography laws.
It is also important to remember that once a image makes it into Cyberspace, you loss control over the image and it's possible that it's out there forever and this may impact on you later in life. Many young people have been embarrassed and/or humiliated because of photos they may have sent a boyfriend or girlfriend. If you are asked to send texts SAY NO!! You don’t know where the image will end up and once you hit send you lose control over it.
The word LOVE is thrown around very loosely these days, the one question we all ask when someone says they love us is "Is it real?" Love has no conditions, love is patient, love is kind and understanding. Many people confuse love with infactuation. A couple of weeks is not enough time for you to really feel love. It is just an excitement or infatuation of meeting someone new and being exposed to new things. It may lead to love, but it's not a good idea to hurry or pressure those feelings. Love and sex should never be compared because they are two entirely different things. If someone is telling you to prove your love by having sex with them, they are just using you to get what they want. Love is unconditional, meaning there are no conditions that you have to prove yourself to a person. You may waste alot of time trying to prove yourself but that doesn't mean that the person you love will love you back. So the next time you're put in a position to "prove" your love...what will you do? You are worth the wait! Never allow anyone to make you feel guilty and cheat yourself, you deserve the best...THINK TWICE!
In order to build confidence in yourself and make the right decisions in situations here are a few quick rules you can follow to help you decline from participating in undesirable situations:
Have confidence in your abilities and actions! This will naturally eliminate peer pressure, since fear of shame or embarrassment is a leading reason why individuals give into it. Good self-esteem is a must!
Have a strong idea of what your goals and abilities are, this will help you refuse undesirable propositions.
Surround yourself with good people! Avoid people and situations that can tempt you to do things you normally wouldn't want to do.
Remind yourself about the possible negative consequences that can come from giving in to peer pressure.
Standing your ground, say what you mean and mean what you say!
Talk about temptations with someone whom you can trust can help you cope with them.