Domestic Violence Red Flags

09/02/2012

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Red Flags Do you…
  • Feel afraid of your partner most of the time?
  • Feel that you can’t do anything right?
  • Get embarrassed by your partner’s behavior toward you?
  • Believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
  • Avoid topics or situations out of fear of angering your partner?
Does your partner…
  • Humiliate, criticize or yell at you?
  • Blame you for his behavior?
  • Threaten to hurt you?
  • Threaten to take your kids away?
  • Threaten to harm your kids or pets?
  • Force you to have sex?
  • Act jealous and possessive?
  • Keep you from seeing friends and family?
  • Limit your access to money or necessities?
  • Keep you from getting a job or going to school?
  • Constantly check up on you?
  • Threaten to kill himself or hurt himself if you leave?
Does your friend or loved one…
  • Have frequent injuries resulting from “accidents”?
  • Frequently and suddenly miss work, school or cancel plans?
  • Receive frequent calls from a partner?
  • Fear their partner, or refer to a partner’s rages or behavior?
  • Lack assertiveness or have submissive behavior?
  • Isolate from friends and families?
  • Have insufficient resources to live (money, credit cards, car)?
Red Flags of Teen Dating Violence For friends…
  • Their boyfriend/girlfriend calls them names or puts them down in front of others.
  • Their boyfriend/girlfriend acts extremely jealous when they talk to friends of the opposite sex, even when it is completely innocent.
  • Your friend often cancels plans at the last minute, for reasons that sound untrue.
  • Your friend frequently apologizes for their boyfriend/girlfriend.
  • Your friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend is constantly checking up on them, calling or texting and demanding to know where they have been.
  • You’ve seen the boyfriend/girlfriend lose their temper, maybe even get violent when they’re mad.
  • Your friend is always worried about upsetting their boyfriend/girlfriend.
  • Your friend is giving up things that used to be important to them, such as spending time with friends or other activities, and is becoming more and more isolated.
  • Your friend’s weight, appearance or grades have changed dramatically.
  • Your friend has injuries they can’t explain, or the explanations they give don’t add up. 
For parents…  Does your child?
  • Make changes in their daily rituals?
  • Retreat from school or activities?
  • Experience isolation from friends?
  • Weight, appearance and grades have changed dramatically?
  • Make changes in clothing?
  • Wear clothing inappropriate for the weather in order to hide marks?
  • Have visible marks or bruises?
  • Spend excessive amounts of time with the person they’re dating?
  • Spend excessive amounts of time in contact with the person they are dating through cell phones and computers?
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4 False Myths About Relationships:

05/09/2010

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Myth #1: It is a good idea to give my boyfriend/girlfriend the password to my Myspace or facebook page.
FALSE. You never have to give your password to anybody, including the person you are dating. Your email account, Myspace and/or facebook pages are your personal pages and you have the right to keep them private. Giving the person you are dating your password will not make you “closer” or show how much you trust them. Your partner should respect your privacy and personal space, not try to invade it.

Myth #2: It is understandable that my boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t want me to talk to anyone of the opposite sex; they love me so much that they get jealous if they see me talking to anyone else.
FALSE. You have the right to talk to anyone you want to. Just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean that you can’t talk to a person of the opposite sex. Extreme jealousy and possessiveness are in no way romantic and are not a part of a health relationship, they could even be early signs of an abusive relationship.

Myth #3: It is okay that I never go out or see my friends anymore; my boyfriend/girlfriend is the most important person in my life and is the only one who really matters.
FALSE. It is always important to have friends, no matter what your partner says. Your boyfriend/girlfriend should never have control over who you hang out with or stop you from seeing people. Trying to keep you from seeing your family and friends is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

Myth #4: It is okay that my boyfriend/girlfriend calls and text me all the time to know where I am, who I am with, and what I am doing; they just want to know what I am up to.
FALSE. Your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t need to know where you are every second of everyday. Your boyfriend or girlfriend shouldn’t have control over where you go and what you do. Excessive texts and phone calls are not normal and may be an indicator that you are not in a healthy relationship.

Courtesy of TeenSource Blog
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