Red Flags Do you…
  • Feel afraid of your partner most of the time?
  • Feel that you can’t do anything right?
  • Get embarrassed by your partner’s behavior toward you?
  • Believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
  • Avoid topics or situations out of fear of angering your partner?
Does your partner…
  • Humiliate, criticize or yell at you?
  • Blame you for his behavior?
  • Threaten to hurt you?
  • Threaten to take your kids away?
  • Threaten to harm your kids or pets?
  • Force you to have sex?
  • Act jealous and possessive?
  • Keep you from seeing friends and family?
  • Limit your access to money or necessities?
  • Keep you from getting a job or going to school?
  • Constantly check up on you?
  • Threaten to kill himself or hurt himself if you leave?
Does your friend or loved one…
  • Have frequent injuries resulting from “accidents”?
  • Frequently and suddenly miss work, school or cancel plans?
  • Receive frequent calls from a partner?
  • Fear their partner, or refer to a partner’s rages or behavior?
  • Lack assertiveness or have submissive behavior?
  • Isolate from friends and families?
  • Have insufficient resources to live (money, credit cards, car)?
Red Flags of Teen Dating Violence For friends…
  • Their boyfriend/girlfriend calls them names or puts them down in front of others.
  • Their boyfriend/girlfriend acts extremely jealous when they talk to friends of the opposite sex, even when it is completely innocent.
  • Your friend often cancels plans at the last minute, for reasons that sound untrue.
  • Your friend frequently apologizes for their boyfriend/girlfriend.
  • Your friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend is constantly checking up on them, calling or texting and demanding to know where they have been.
  • You’ve seen the boyfriend/girlfriend lose their temper, maybe even get violent when they’re mad.
  • Your friend is always worried about upsetting their boyfriend/girlfriend.
  • Your friend is giving up things that used to be important to them, such as spending time with friends or other activities, and is becoming more and more isolated.
  • Your friend’s weight, appearance or grades have changed dramatically.
  • Your friend has injuries they can’t explain, or the explanations they give don’t add up. 
For parents…  Does your child?
  • Make changes in their daily rituals?
  • Retreat from school or activities?
  • Experience isolation from friends?
  • Weight, appearance and grades have changed dramatically?
  • Make changes in clothing?
  • Wear clothing inappropriate for the weather in order to hide marks?
  • Have visible marks or bruises?
  • Spend excessive amounts of time with the person they’re dating?
  • Spend excessive amounts of time in contact with the person they are dating through cell phones and computers?
 
 
Self-pride is your sense of your own value or worth as a person. It is how much you like, accept, approve, and respect yourself. You can recognize yourself as worthy and capable of loving and being loved. Or, your self-pride can be the biggest stumbling block to living the successful, happy life you want to live. Self-pride effects how you act in every situation, what you say and do, and how your feel about yourself. It is a continuous influence on your perception of life. 

The pride you have within yourself determines your success or failure in everything. Contemplate for a moment what you really think about yourself. Take a look in the mirror and notice your self chatter. Catch yourself in a mistake of some sort and become conscious of your internal dialog. Notice the type of conversation that goes through your head when you reach an obstacle, have a setback, or are unable to achieve your goals. Sadly, many of us have deep feelings that who we are is flawed, unlovable, or unacceptable. Every mistake, setback, or evidence of an imperfect body is proof that we do not deserve to love ourselves, or to be loved. 

Do you like you? Are you able to think of yourself as one who has many desirable qualities and attributes, or do you dwell on your perceived flaws and failures? Your beliefs help to create your experience of every situation. You create your attitude, your body, and your world - for better or for worse.

Dr. Annette Colby, RD